Tuesday, March 30, 2010

The King is coming.I Don't Know Why.



BK and their colouring-in service provider should have just scanned the campaign brief into a *pdf and put the thing in Google docs and sent us all the link.


Creative Brief: BK Whopper




The Whopper burger is the blah blah selling burger in the blah blah markets in the top 5 region in the market in the region in the world. Why is the colonial outpost of New Zealand not conforming?  There is no money in crapola cheeseburgers. Make them eat Whoppers. McDonalds are smoking us on cheapo Big Macs and the gourmet blah blah Burger Fuel something category shrinking. So we did some stuff in America and got some BookFace fans and it sounds like a big number so we're claming it.



Make the Whopper burger the number one selling burger in the blah blah colonial outpost across blah blah outlets by some time in the future.





Whopper Burger ranked number one in 80% of blah blah outlets by blah blah date.
Harvest fans on social media by bribing them with free downloads like they did in the US to bolster numbers



Enter colouring-in service provider in converse one stars and ‘clever counter-pop culture even though I work for a global media mofo company’ t-shirt.


Commence Freudian word association.


Burger King. King. Prince William Visit.


End Freudian word association.


Present creative concept:


Present evidence of colonial New Zealanders being interested in Prince William at a BBQ with John Key PM. Prince William on America’s Cup boat etc etc. Photos, Youtubable things. ROYAL VISIT!

Season with tenuous Freudian word association (Burger King. King. Prince William Visit).

Crap on about ‘social media’ opportunities. Over mention Facebook and Twitter.  Make funny ‘content is King’ pun hahahaahha. Overmention "America" --overseas stuff is always better.




Then..unleash the real fury…





*A MICROSITE is super important because it’s easy to bill

(don’t tell them that afore-overmentioned-crapped-on-about social media applications make a MICROSITE pretty much redundant.. do you want a new 4G iPhone or not?  )



(Extra Genius with cheese)


**A TEASER CAMPAIGN pretty much doesn’t work in the current fragmented media environment cos everyone doesn’t sit infront of the two TV channels at 6pm anymore. Coupled with the fact that GenY boiz (‘just put some 18” chromez on my Skyline bro”) demographic have the attention span of an ADHD goldfish. A minor detail. We can sell them more TVC production this way. Think of the 4G iPhone. It’s meant to have a better camera.


Some twaddle pop who survived the fury of corporate whipper snippering during the recession by snivelling and brown nosing then signs of on the brief (content is king! Hahahaha) and because all the ducks and are in a row, the square is being thought outside of, and someone is pushing an envelope.



Hooray! Roll out the brightly coloured media plan and the storyboards! Best of all the MICROSITE http://makewhopperno1.co.nz/index.php


What’s missing?




Why do I care that your Whopper burger is not number one?




What have you done to make me buy one of your burgers?




“I do not regard advertising as entertainment or an art form, but as a medium of information.” David Ogilvy


Can someone just please tell me why I should make Whopper number one?
How about (pushes envelope!) just tell me why I should buy a Whopper?!

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Evoking Your Inner Gamer

Farmville, FourSquare and games in general get the 'sit inside with the curtains closed all day' people and small children excited. I'm not much of a gamer so I tend to watch with a low level of interest (so I don't feel left out) but generally don't really care. This extends to those of you that spam updates through your Twitter and Facebook streams..you know who you are.
Until now.
Urgent Evoke- A crash course in changing the world.
This is not a simulation. You are about to tackle real problems.
Food security. Energy. Water security. Disaster relief. Poverty. Pandemic. Education. Global conflict. Human rights.
Welcome to the Evoke Network. Welcome to your crash course in changing the world.


Manga Saves The World

Developed by the World Bank Institute, I was immediately hooked by manga graphics that claimed to 'solve real world problems in Africa'..really…with manga?
So I signed up as an 'agent' and accepted my first mission. I had to 'Google a social innovator and add a blog or video entry with one thing I learnt'.
It was getting too hard already. But I courageously persevered, wrote my blog, submitted my ‘evidence’...and got to give myself super powers! I gave myself a 'courage' reward (for courageous perseverance and Googling) and a brightly coloured lolly thing went on my profile. Pretty.
"Would you like to accept your next mission?"
I was hooked. Yes! Give me another mission! I want another cyber lolly!
The useability is insanely good and runs on a fully pimped out Ning platform. The tone of the community is positive and encouraging. The art work is wicked.
Keeping it real

The true genius is how the game translates in real world, so there's actually a point to it. I don't see the point of having a virtual cow empire on FaceBook...maybe that's just me. You have to get to a real deadline so you (10 missions by May 12 2010) and you get a real certification 'Certified World Bank Institute Social Innovator – Class of 2010'. Awesome...this I have to have. And if you are a super-agent you get flown to the Evoke Summit in Washington. A bit better than cyber milk from cyber cows.
I'm guessing the children in Africa will get first call on the trip to Washington but in the meantime..a little girl waits. And Evokes.
Urgent Evoke
Launched March 17 2010
World Bank Institute
Directed by Jane McGonigal
Story by Kiyash Monsef
Art by Jacob Glaser

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Monday, March 29, 2010

My First Dorito

Thursday, March 25, 2010

The Last Ad Agency On Earth

The last advertising agency on earth

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Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Social Media Pizza: Media Spokesperson

Social Media Pizza: Training

Social Media Pizza:The Interview

Monday, March 22, 2010

Let Them Eat Cake!

Monday, March 15, 2010

PODCAST: Geolocation Services In Social Media

Chat this morning with Ed Swift on geolocation services in social media applications. 
Discusses FourSquare,Gowalla, Twitter and Facebook trends and discusses privacy and issues for New Zealand users. 


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Friday, March 12, 2010

Brooker: Loser Generated Content

Charlie Brooker is a legend. Pretend crowdsouring is lame. I also like use of the term 'dickshoe'.
TV advertising used to work like this: you sat on your sofa while creatives were paid to throw a bucket of shit in your face. Today you're expected to sit on the bucket, fill it with your own shit, and tip it over your head while filming yourself on your mobile. Then you upload the video to the creatives. You do the work; they still get paid.

Hail the rise of "loser-generated content"; commercials assembled from footage shot by members of the public coaxed into participating with the promise of TV glory. The advantages to the advertiser are obvious: it saves cash and makes your advert feel like part of some warm, communal celebration rather than the 30-second helping of underlit YouTube dog piss it is.

Witness the current Oxo Factor campaign. According to the website: "Has your Family got the OXO Factor? It's 2009. There's no such thing as 'the OXO Family' any more. We're all OXO Families! That's why we asked you to film your family performing the script for our new TV ad, for the chance to see yourselves on TV, alongside some of Britain's other brilliant families." Or "other insufferable arseholes", depending on your point of view.

End result: a bunch of wacky-doo show-offs titting around in their kitchens, each reciting the same script, which they're not allowed to deviate from. They can perform it "ironically", and indeed they all do, which somehow only makes it more horrible still: the Oxo family of 2009 may display faint traces of corporate-approved subversion, provided they adhere to the corporate-approved screenplay. Lynda Bellingham's fictional family of yore might've been insipid, but at least they weren't willing participants in a macabre dystopian dumb-show.

Phone ads are worse. Everybody's "brightdancing" according to The X Factor break bumpers. "Brightdancing" consists of shooting a video of yourself waving your mobile around while being filmed by a Talk Talk website gizmo which turns the glare from your mobile's screen into a ribbon of light. It's less creative than choosing which colour iPod you want for Christmas. "Brightdancing". Jesus.

Then there's Josh, the simpering middle-class mop who's apparently "forming a supergroup" for T-Mobile. According to the official story, Josh was strolling down the street one day when a T-Mobile film crew asked him what he'd do if he had free texts for life. Rather than pointing out that "free texts for life" means dick-all in a world containing the internet, Josh burbled something about forming a band. A few weeks later and gosh oh crikey that's precisely what's happening! And we're all invited! Hey everyone! Join Josh's Band!

As well as TV spots recounting the irritating story of Josh and his "volunteers" (Yikes! They're busking in an open-top London bus! Bonkers!), there are YouTube videos of Josh's utterly spontaneous and not-at-all-stage-managed musical quest. The group has its own song, which you're encouraged to perform and upload yourself, hastening humankind's slow cultural death in the process. The recurring melody sounds suspiciously like a seven-note ringtone, while the lyrics speak vaguely inclusion and connectivity – y'know, the sort of thing they guff on about in mobile phone ads. The third line is "I call up all of my friends". Why call anyone? You've got free texts for life, you prick.

It's so clumsily contrived it wouldn't fool a hen, yet we're meant to welcome this "supergroup" as an authentic grassroots musical phenomenon. On MySpace, Josh (or whoever's controlling him) claims, "It's a shame so many cynics think this band is completely manufactured."

So it's a genuine people's movement, then? And this band doesn't contain any paid-for session musicians? And that song wasn't written by professional tunesmiths-for-hire? And the lyrics weren't penned by some dickshoe at Saatchi & Saatchi? Hmm. Piss off, T-Mobile. Stop trying to "crowdsource". You're embarrassing yourselves. Scram. And empty that bucket on your way out.

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Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road

Friday, March 5, 2010

Gattung & Chicks on Boards

Riding the XT media storm, former Telecom CEO Theresa Gattung has hit the publicity 'go' button before the release of her book 'Bird On A Wire' next week.
At a time when I was at business school and wobbling out into the workforce, having a woman at the helm of the biggest company in New Zealand made a huge difference. The gender split was roughly 50:50 in our lectures and we girls never once thought there was such a think as inequality in the workplace. Theresa was a shining light of "you do the work, you get the job." Ann Sherry at the helm of Westpac, Dame Sian Elias as Chief Justice and Helen Clark as Prime Minister backed up this theory, followed by Gattung ranking at 23rd most powerful women in the world by Fortune in 2006.
So what's happened?
Archival analysis indicated that of a total of 1366 corporate directors, women constituted 88 (6.44%) directorships. Women held 64 non-executive (4.69% of total directorships), 23 executive (1.68% of total directorships) and one alternate directorship. The findings indicated that there were only five women CEOs and only five out of a total of 240 New Zealand corporate boards achieved gender equality. Women on NZ Coporate Boards 2008
1.68% of executive directorships! So when Gattung comes out criticising the low-level of scrutiny the current CEO is receiving and addresses the issue of pay parity, there's a little more to it than 'sour grapes'. I don't blindly endorse leaders because I have the same plumbing as them and I certainly think Gattung made errors in the top seat. I do think she has unique experience and hasn't received the credit she has deserved.  There are challenges that are unique to women,  it's looking at the figures and realising that things are out of whack. Good work Theresa.

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Monday, March 1, 2010

Relevance, Interactivity & Accountability

Christopher Vollmer  wrote in the journal Strategy+Business. 

“Advertising has evolved from an interruption—grabbing attention for a product or brand—into an experience, an application, a service that the consumer actually wants. This new marketing model doesn’t shout; it listens and learns. And relevance, interactivity, and accountability are its essential ingredients.”

You can't push campaign through social communication tools. People will tune out. 

I know you can't make money that way under your existing structures. Both client and agency are struggling with this at the moment but struggle with it you must. 

You need to change your business model. There's no question about that. It's just a matter of being prepared to upskill yourself and apply the logic of the fragmented media reality to your business or organisation.

Madison Avenue legend Rosser Reeves (pictured) publicly boasted how one client spent $86,400,000 over the course of 10 years “on one piece of my copy.” 

Those days are over.



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